I was bitchy and selfish today.

I wanted to go out with him in the evening
But I couldn't
I wanted to have my own place where I could just be by myself or be with him
But I couldn't

So I got quiet. My selfishness overtook me. I silently reeled about how badly I wish we could be like every other couple I know where both parents know and are cool about our relationship. I want to be able to sit in his kitchen and chat with his family like it's an everyday occurrence. I want to be able to hold his hand while walking in Walmart even if his relatives see. I just want us to be known in each other's family without feeling like we have to hide each other from them.

And as I sit here crying silent tears, my selfishness will not leave me tonight. All I can think of is this, instead of thinking about the wonderful person who loves me. Maybe this is the cause of my recent sleepness nights ...